What the....? That weight is back.

I can't breathe at the moment. For some reason, this evening, I am so sad. Nothing has changed really in my life to make me feel this way. I just feel like I can't breathe and I am so so down... like I shouldn't even get in the car to go drive.

I'm working in the SF Bay Area at the moment and staying at a friend's place.

I have no 'home'... no wife... no one to talk to... Taiga is 1000 miles away...

I can't remember the last time I was hugged or touched or spoken to... in a really affectionate way. My thoughts are all gray. This is not good. I need to do something.

And he went on...

Today a friend lost a friend... a little boy... clothed in white. Sweet... sweet... feisty and certainly not little like a pea. No names, no places, no times, no details for it would be too hard to read.