Profound Graffiti...

Just saw this on Digg.

It's an image by an artist known as Banksy.
http://flickr.com/photos/greenwood100/2461402455/sizes/l/

Who is Banksy?
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Banksy

http://www.banksy.co.uk/

Now I am all set for V-day next year...

http://projectsidewalk.com/blog/2008/08/11/rejected-valentines-day-2008/

Been having a really hard 3 weeks...

For reasons not related to my marriage.... my... 'marriage'... I've been slipping slowly into more and more of a depression. Each day is sunny and bright and new but I've lost that energy and bounce in my self.

I've stopped going to the gym for the moment but think of going 3-4 times a day. I've been eating just whatever... all day and night.

I'm pretty sleepless.

I've been thinking of... her many times a day... mostly because I haven't seen her but once in the last 6 weeks. I... miss her. But why? It's not like I've seen her for more than even half a day total in the last year.

I guess I am just lonely. I toss and turn and wonder at my life... how it's smoldering... in ruins. I think about alternate lives with alternate decisions... and how I might move forward someday... someday... someday.

I sit here in the dark... at midnight... watching reruns and thinking about how tomorrow will be a replay of today.

I'm lonely... so lonely... so lonely... lonely... in the dark...

Poem from the Antoine Fisher movie....

Who will cry for the little boy, lost and all alone
Who will cry for the little boy, abandoned without his own
Who will cry for the little boy, he cried himself to sleep
Who will cry for the little boy, who never had it for keeps
Who will cry for the little boy, who walked on burning sands
Who will cry for the little boy, the boy inside a man
Who will cry for the little boy, who knew well hurt and pain
Who will cry for the little boy, who died and died again
Who will cry for the little boy, a good boy he tried to be
Who will cry for the little boy, who cries inside of me

I was texting with a friend and he sent me this...

a quote from a taiwanese song composer: "at times, the so call love of your life that you can never let go.... truth is, you can't let go because you're not satisfied with the outcome, not because you love her"

For the last 2 weeks....

I've been trying to figure out if I am face-to-face with a wall..... or the floor.

Lack of energy. Sad thoughts wandering. Feeling lost.

I know, I know... it's the floor.