For reasons not related to my marriage.... my... 'marriage'... I've been slipping slowly into more and more of a depression. Each day is sunny and bright and new but I've lost that energy and bounce in my self.
I've stopped going to the gym for the moment but think of going 3-4 times a day. I've been eating just whatever... all day and night.
I'm pretty sleepless.
I've been thinking of... her many times a day... mostly because I haven't seen her but once in the last 6 weeks. I... miss her. But why? It's not like I've seen her for more than even half a day total in the last year.
I guess I am just lonely. I toss and turn and wonder at my life... how it's smoldering... in ruins. I think about alternate lives with alternate decisions... and how I might move forward someday... someday... someday.
I sit here in the dark... at midnight... watching reruns and thinking about how tomorrow will be a replay of today.
I'm lonely... so lonely... so lonely... lonely... in the dark...
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