So, I am out with my friends at a local wine bar in Woodinville, WA. As we're waiting they make a reservation with the restaurant for Valentine's Day. It's been a long time since I've been on the outside of a relationship.... 14 years, I think. I was okay and sorta not okay with hearing about V-Day.
Actually, I forgot it was right around the corner. Now don't get me wrong... I am totally happy for my friends. They have a lovely marriage and have worked hard to have it so.
I was pretty surprised at my reaction. It's one of those days that after all this time just didn't really mean much to me. We never really did anything special on the day or gave gifts. I would give even odds if we even acknowledged it to each other.
It's not the day, I realized. It took me a moment to remember. I can't believe that it was pushed out of my mind, when it was such an infamous milestone in my life for so long last year.
February 14, 2007 was the last time that she and I went to dinner together.... just to be with each other. She was super tired, barely spoke, and we didn't really laugh at all during the meal. Kinda sad in various ways. There are a lot of melancholy feelings but now that I seem to have turned the corner it is not affecting me as much. The pain of remembering seems to be distant and faded, so that's good.
Still, it's there and I... will be alone. Anyway, not that anyone is reading my blog but as I opened to my homepage, I saw this link (Ugh, It's Another Valentine's Day and I'm Still Single).
If you're going to be alone... have a read. If you are going to be alone and near me, call me so we can go out. I'll buy....
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