Frustration is the myopic, selfish, burly monster standing in the corner.

Okay. I am trying to work out a problem with my friend and it's a very complicated problem that pervades every part of my reality.

I am frustrated and tired. She is frustrated and tired too.

Here's the latest. I was just talking to the mediator/counselor and she said something that totally blew me away. This is such a simple idea and statement that I need to keep it in mind.

I was trying to get my point across and the counselor responded with "Her biggest need right now is to be recognized for her efforts." Wow. Okay. Now, I think I am normally not a self-centered jackass but wow. So I re-read my emails and realize that I haven't recognized a single action or effort on her part. Way to go, genius.

So, now I am writing an apology and closing my eyes. I see in my mind a little burly beast sitting in the corner of my mind. It's playing cards with my Pride and another little git which I think is my Selfishness. They are all chuckling there in-between bets. It can't see me anymore but I can see it. It's my Frustration and I was temporarily blinded with my own needs so much that I didn't even consider her needs.

What have I become? Who am I now? What the hell?

I am sorry. I think we've all been angry and feeling a little righteous. It's a fine line though when righteous becomes hideous. I check my feet.... yep, I'm over the line. Okay.... time to 'fess up and apologize.

Now I recall, believing you will only receive the worst from someone only leads to frustration and distrust.