Finding the Ending of the Loss....

A friend of mine mentioned the movie "Once" to me a short while ago. We were comparing daily stories, wondering what to eat for dinner, and I was probably whining about my life again. She's a patient friend.

In particular, there's a song that was really sticking in her mind. It's called "Falling Slowly". You can hear it and even download it for free at the movie's official site. I went, heard and really enjoyed it. I ended up getting the movie.

I am watching the movie now. Melancholy. Gritty. Enchanting. Romantic. Lost souls.... finding each other. How easily it is for me to fit myself into the story. There are moments of silence in the story that allow me to dip into my own experiences.... to compare myself to both main characters and their struggles. It's a good story about 'wanting but not having' various things in your life.

As I was watching the movie, my thoughts drifted something like this:
"Hmmm.... hmmm.... .... I see, I see.... hmmm....

How... I long to feel the ending of the loss. But what is that other thing in me? It's in me... It's in me... and dark but not scary. Not quite an emptiness, not a sadness. What is it? I... I... what is it? I sense it now that I can see my longing as the background.

I see it. It's mine. And I think I see how to free myself. There is peace with either of them. But only when I settle it in me. It's... my hope for the future. It's asleep but it's there and it's curiously unattached.... just there on its own. I can walk either path but I need to be in it altogether, body/mind/spirit."

So now, the question to myself is "Am I in this path with body/mind/spirit?"

At this moment............................... no...............................

"Falling Slowly" Lyrics - Glen Hansard

I don't know you
But I want you
All the more for that
Words fall through me
And always fool me
And I can't react
And games that never amount
To more than they're meant
Will play themselves out

Take this sinking boat and point it home
We've still got time
Raise your hopeful voice you have a choice
You make it now

Falling slowly, eyes that know me
And I can't go back
Moods that take me and erase me
And I'm painted black
You have suffered enough
And warred with yourself
It's time that you won

Take this sinking boat and point it home
We've still got time
Raise your hopeful voice you have a choice
You've made it now

Faling slowly, sing your melody
I'll sing it loud

Take this sinking boat and point it home
We've still got time
Raise your hopeful voice you had a choice
You've made it now
Falling slowly sing your melody
I'll sing along