spirituality? spirituality.

I was challenged with an idea and a feeling in a recent conversation. The idea of spirituality. I have, for the most part, avoided this aspect in my life though I like to think of myself as an open-minded person. I realized as I was talking to a friend that there are some powerful and profound ideas that I have not attended to in many years.

I guess that I joined the rat race early on and have been running on the mighty 401k path for a long time. I never was a church-goer. I was never one to remember or recite formal verses from any holy text. I have indeed though felt a humility and certitude that things in life have meaning other than monetary or other selfish units of measurement.

You may note that I resist invoking the word "God" as I write. I think I would rather consider the term "Universe" if I had to put a label to it/her/him/them. For the longest time, I've felt surrounded by people who 'knew' what existed in the spiritual sense. It's intrigued me. It's confused me. It's made me question my own misgivings about what life is all about. In some ways, I vilify believers because I sometimes see them depending on external hope when they have the ability to act in their own behalf. When belief becomes a crutch or a mask, I become uncomfortable. However, if it is a lens through which to see people, acts, and possibilities in an affirmative light then I applaud it.

The one thing that I do agree with regard to the atheistic outlook is summed up in a book "Letter to a Christian Nation". The author goes over a lot of arguments as to why faith and belief is dangerous, hypocritical, and sometimes stupid. It's provocative if you don't agree with his thinking. Anyway, if I recall correctly, there is a section of the book where he makes the case that staunch belief in one thing can blind you to the reality of a different view regardless of interpretation, scientific, and empirical data.

And so, I find myself questioning everything.... and wondering if this perennial skepticism is... blocking me from feeling and being happier. Something to meditate on.